Editor’s Checklist (26 ways to increase your chances of selling a manuscript)
Assuming you have a great story with lots of trouble and conflict, and strong characters with a great deal at stake (prerequisites), here are some key ways to make sure these wonderful things actually come across to the reader (or agent, or editor):
1. Show it, don’t tell it.
a. In the television age, more than a very few paragraphs of exposition, introspection, or scene setting at a time can lead to Snoozeville—make me experience a story, don’t just report it. Start your story as soon as possible; don’t rev your engines very much at the beginning with the aforementioned stuff.
b. The most successful novels invoke emotions in the reader. Exposition is the writing form least capable of stirring emotions. Action and dialogue are tied at number one, followed by introspection, scene setting (an often overlooked way to set tone and stir emotion), and finally, at a very distant fifth, exposition. Never use exposition to reveal anything that has the potential to wring emotion out of the reader. Exposition is useful to prevent bloat but only use it to convey non-emotional, relatively less important information; and only in small doses.
c. Don’t introduce each character with a bio, (that is so 1940’s and earlier) or describe them with adjectives (lazy, mean, kind, careless, etc.) let me get to know them gradually by what they do and say—it’s more fun for me that way.
d. Don’t tell me what non-Point Of View characters are thinking or feeling, show me with descriptions of their actions and/or expressions.
e. It’s okay to tell me what the POV character is thinking or feeling but it’s often better to show it instead (especially when highly emotional).
2. To everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a Reason.
a. Unlike the real world, random results are not allowed in novels (not good novels at any rate). In your scenes, follow the rules of cause-effect, stimulus-response.
b. If you have your protagonist win (or lose) because of random chance or an Act of God, your readers will hate you.
3. Passive voice is a buzz kill (except in this sentence, of course).
Eliminate as many passive verbs (was, were, had) as possible. This is absolutely critical whenever action or dialogue occurs. But, because there’s no immediate action to interrupt, eliminating passive voice in exposition, introspection, or scene setting is not critical but it’s often better to remove it here too.
4. A view from the top.
a. Third person omniscient can work and work well (although it can make it harder to invoke emotions and thus requires a very highly-skilled writer).
b. In third person personal, once inside a scene, don’t wander around from head to head. If you must go into another person’s head, start another scene.
c. In first person scenes, I must inhabit one head and one head only.
d. Very early in the scene, make sure I know who the POV character is.
5. Well, I do declare.
Vary sentence structure. Too many simple declarative sentences, (He verb… She verb… It verb…) and you’ll sound like the evening news.
6. 1 + 1 = 1/2.
Eliminate redundant phrases, explanations, and attempts to explain dialogue via attacks of supporting exposition or ly adverbs. If you feel you must explain something or repeat it, then you probably said it poorly the first time. Fix it; don’t try to use a crutch. If you did say it right the first time, repeating it or explaining it weakens it.
7. Mysteries aren’t just for “Mysteries.”
Even if you’re not writing in the mystery genre, don’t just report events like you’re writing for a newspaper. Hold a few things back. Hint at bad things and/or tantalizing information to come. Readers love to worry and wonder. Do make sure to solve some of the little mysteries during the course of the book (and hopefully replace some with new ones) and solve all by the end of the book or, once again, your readers will hate you.
8. Breaking up is easy to do.
Avoid long paragraphs except for times when you deliberately want to slow things down, lull the readers almost to sleep, and then quickly hit them over the head with something exciting. Using passive verbs in a long paragraph is a great way to help your readers go to sleep at night, but you’re not supposed to be competing with Tylenol PM.
9. Dialogue is talking; it’s not elegant prose nor even necessarily grammatical.
a. Human beings often speak in sentence fragments—they interrupt, they ignore, they misdirect, they use contractions and sometimes slang. If you’re not writing science fiction or fantasy, have your characters talk like humans.
b. With rare exceptions, don’t have your characters give little (or even worse, big) speeches to each other.
c. Avoid the “as you know” syndrome (exposition poorly disguised as dialogue where characters tell each other what they already know, or they don’t have a natural reason to say it). If the only way to replace exposition is to use forced, unnatural dialogue, go with exposition.
10. Who’s on first?
Make sure I know who is speaking. Don’t use a speaker attribution every time someone talks, but do make sure you don’t go more than a few lines without reminding me who’s turn it is. When there are more than two people in the scene, you’ll probably have to use more speaker attributions.
11. The beat goes on.
a. Beats (little snippets of action during dialogue) are a good way to vary speaker attribution and add action and sense of place to dialogue.
b. During highly emotional or dramatic parts of dialogue, be careful to use beats very sparingly or not at all as they can reduce the tension. However, beats that show emotion (He slammed the book down!) can be used to heighten dramatic effect, and are usually far superior to ly adverbs.
12. Up the lazy dialogue river.
When you have to tell me that your characters interject, muse, tell, ask, demand, plead, counter, repeat, remind, offer, exclaim, intone, inform, etc., it usually means the dialogue itself is weak and you’re forced to explain it to me. The best dialogue needs only the “said” attribution, or a beat, or no attribution at all. Very occasional use of a select few “special” attributions can be effective in the right spots, but frequent use leads one down the road to Hacker Town.
13. Don’t think too long.
When writing in third person, literal thoughts that shift to first person (Oh, my God!) should be reserved for very short and highly emotional phrases. For lingering looks into your POV character’s mind, use third person.
14. K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple, Stupid.
Your goal is to entertain, not to impress everyone with how many complex clauses and flowery words and phrases you can juggle in a single sentence. When the reader has to pause in order to understand, you’ve failed him or her.
15. Speaking of entertaining.
Educating the reader about a cause or an important social issue is okay so long as it doesn’t interrupt the entertainment for more than a second or so.
16. Speaking of flowery words and phrases.
Phrases like, “the purple tendrils of dawn” belong in poetry, not prose. Agents and editors love to compare passages they’ve received of what they call purple prose. This is not a good thing.
17. Where the hell am I anyway?
a. If the action could just as easily be taking place in the reader’s living room or backyard, credibility suffers. Establish sense of place for enhanced realism and a vivid experience.
b. However, beware of purple prose or verbosity. One paragraph of scene setting is usually okay, two may be okay, three or more (except in science fiction or fantasy) and you’re probably writing for an audience that lived in the prior century.
18. Often, a little bit goes a long way.
Understated emotion can often be more effective than histrionics. Occasional fireworks (or waterworks) can heighten drama and tension, but, if your characters are constantly going off the deep end, it becomes ineffective and boring.
19. It’s like déjà vu all over again.
a. Eliminate unintentional word repetition, even if removed from each other by a few pages. Repetition should only be intentional and for effect.
b. When using repetition for effect, using three or more instances is usually better than just using two which can be mistaken for laziness.
20. Built-ins are better than add-ons.
Taking care to retain message and/or imagery, eliminate as many adjectives and adverbs as possible. Use vivid nouns and verbs (where adjectives and adverbs are built-in) wherever possible.
21. Watch your as’s and ings.
a. Sentences that begin with as or ing clauses should be used sparingly and only for sentence structure variety and avoidance of more complex constructs. More than one or two a page is a hacker alert.
b. When used, these clauses should refer to the less important action in the sentence.
22. And you’re referring to?
Make sure it’s absolutely clear what each clause refers to. Misplaced modifiers are more than just confusing, they’re annoying.
23. A proportional response is best.If you spend a long time talking about something, I’m going to assume it’s important. If it turns out it’s not, I’m going to assume your book isn’t very important either.
24. Be consistently consistent.
a. Be on the lookout for instances where the facts in one part of the book or scene don’t jive with the others.
b. Also be consistent with the real world (assuming your piece is set in the real world). Do your research.
25. Hut two three four.
a. Read your story out loud or, even better; have someone else read it to you. If the words don’t flow, the reader may go. Cadence is very important.
b. What’s that all about? Often, the word that is an annoying, unnecessary appendage and it can ruin cadence. If your grammar checker doesn’t barf on the sentence with that removed, and it’s not absolutely necessary to understand the sentence, remove it (unless it actually improves cadence which is not likely).
26. Clichés are just so…well…cliché.
a. Characters may use clichés in dialogue occasionally (don’t overdo it), especially when it’s consistent with their personality. The narrative voice of the POV character should avoid clichés; however, an original, cleverly reworded alteration of a cliché can be fun and effective.
b. Cliché can also strike in the form of overused plot elements or actions. If you’ve heard it before, your reader probably has too.
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